I Thought the Neighbors Were Going to Call the Cops

It started with some apple slices and before I knew it, Madelyn was running up the stairs screaming “my tooth is going to fall out!” Just to put this into perspective, it was not the “yay, I’m going to get my tooth out and the tooth fairy is going to give me $2” type of scream. This was the shrill “you are not getting anywhere near my tooth” type of scream.

I have to mention that you may think this was Madelyn’s first tooth since she’s only 6. Oh no. This is #6 or 7!!!! The first few teeth she pulled out on her own. Not a tear in site. Just a proud smile. Teeth must’ve gotten scarier in the last year and half since she lost her first one.

This tooth has been loose for over a month now. I even got her floss stuck underneath it a few weeks ago. She was livid, by the way. Instantly accusing me of trying to pull out her tooth before it was ready. I should have seen that moment as a warning sign of what was to come.

She was legitimately terrified. The look on her face was one I’d expect to see if I told her “sorry honey, you have to walk across that fire if you want to go to Disney World”. She. Was. Freaking. Out!!! I wasn’t even able to touch her tooth until 2 hours into this ordeal. 2 flipping hours!!!

I coddled. I hugged. I spoke softly and reassuringly. I bargained. I gave her a plan. I stroked her hair lovingly telling her it’s ok and to not be scared. I told her it wouldn’t hurt and it would just feel funny.

Nothing. She was in the midst of a 3 hour long panic attack. She was desperate. She was making bargains with Santa so that she would get to keep her baby teeth. She said her baby teeth would work just fine. There’s no reason for them to fall out. And that Santa has magical powers so he could make this happen. She threw back in my face that I causes this with the floss. (imagine her screaming all this at me)

She was scared of some sort of intense pain while I pulled her tooth. I told her that me giving birth to her was scary and painful. Teeth getting pulled? No pain. That didn’t work. (shocking)

This tooth was hanging by a thread, literally. It was bent over and touching her lip!!!

I told her a cold washcloth may numb up her gum and then she wouldn’t feel a thing. I thought I had her then. She was willing to try. After about 5 min of a cold compress, she was freaking out again. “Tell me why I need this tooth out?” ” Why can’t I keep my baby teeth?”

Good grief! I eventually told her that she needs to open her mouth and let me try to take it out or it might fall out in her sleep and she’ll either swallow it or choke on it. And if she was going to swallow it, I wasn’t going to dig through poop to give it to the tooth fairy. Not the best parenting move. I was at the end of my rope.

After 2 1/2 hours of this freaking out, I threw in the towel. I was done. Then this freak out got worse, if that was possible. She was screaming “I can’t go to bed with my tooth left in, I’m going to die!!!” What? Oh great. Dave just looks at me as she says this. I look at him like I don’t know where that came from. Oops!

Picture all this screaming coming from our house and you’re walking past our house. I was sure we would see red and blue lights reflecting in our windows any minute. Any minute….

We were going on 3 hours now. Dave started playing “Down by the Bay” by Rafi on his phone and she calmed down enough to let me wiggle her tooth. With her holding my finger in her mouth, mind you. Then freaking out again. She claimed I was too rough with my finger muscles. really?

A whole bunch more back and forth between dying, wanting her tooth out, and letting me wiggle her tooth occurred. After another “Down by the Bay”, some coaxing, she opened her mouth quick while screaming and I pulled her tooth out.

Silence.

Shock was etched on her face as I showed her this tiny tooth. Then she said “oh”. what?!?!?!

“Can I get a napkin? There’s blood” came next.

Within minutes she was bubbly saying how she didn’t feel a thing. Showing off her new space in between her bottom teeth to Asher. She didn’t even hear a crack.

unfreakingbelievable!!!

My jaw dropped. I swear it went through her bedroom floor and wound up in the living room. I just went through 3 hours, minimum, of trying to calm Madelyn down over this tiny tooth and now she’s prancing around totally fine, wondering where her ice scream was.

Goodness sakes!

She also mentioned if I could please tell Happy (our elf) that she’s sorry for driving us insane all night and if he could please tell Santa all about her tooth.

Yup, I’ll get right on that, as soon as I get myself a beer!

Have a great night!!!

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