I hate days like this.
The days where my emotions are labile. Ones where I just want to hide under covers and go back to sleep. Ignore the world around me. I don’t want to feel the toys, socks, and crumbs under my feet. I don’t want to hear the whining from my kids. Or the fighting over a maraca. Or the tantrums over the answer no to a request for cookies when only 1 bite of lunch was taken.
I instead want to run away. I want to escape. Only the simple act of picking up my shoes causes another fit of screaming/tears/breakdowns from my children. They don’t want me to go.
After a few snuggles on the couch and promise to be back soon, I watch their little hands lay on my chest and their heads lean against my shoulder; I’m able to leave for the grocery store.
It’s amazing how a trip to the grocery store can relax you. But 1 step into the house, screams ensue. But they’re screams of happiness to see me as they both tear into the bags to see what sort of treats momma brought home.
Bedtime… Asher snuggles up to me with his pacifier in his mouth (we really need to get rid of that). Listening to his lullaby. As I lay him down, I hand him his monkey. “Thank you” he says. Now it didn’t sound exactly like that. But I knew what he said. My heart melted:):):):).
As I snuggled with Madelyn before she went to bed, I realized that I wish I could take it all back. Take back the labile emotions of the day. Take back the short tempers. I don’t want to run away. I don’t want to miss any moment of this crazy life I have. I love them all. Every minute of it.
Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow there will be more laughs and less tears. Tomorrow….