Golden Four

My sweetest Asher,
I wish I could freeze this moment. I’m worried that if I don’t, you will not be so cuddly tomorrow. Or there won’t be hundreds of kisses adorning my face as you perfectly place each one with a smacking sound while holding my head with you’re small, soft hands.

From three to four, you have changed so much. You are so different from your sister, but when both of your tempers flare, you two are combustible. You are not as easy going as I thought you’d be. You can be defiant and stubborn on a daily basis, just like your momma.

You’re priorities are so different from your sisters. Please forgive me when I compare you two, I try really hard not to. You are concerned with which superhero is going to defeat Vector or Joker instead of what letter you learned in school, let alone how to spell your name. There’s plenty of time for letters when the safety of your imaginary world is at stake.

Everything is exciting to you. During Christmas, you received a movie and the look on your face seemed like Santa gave you a ticket to visit his toy shop. You were beyond excited!

Every morning that you wake, you say “cuddle with me, momma” in your sleepy, raspy voice. My heart grows with each word as you snuggle your warm body against mine and whisper “I love you”. Now, I can’t just simply reply “I love you”. If I do, you will slowly raise your voice and repeat “I love you” until I say “I love you, too”.

You sneak into our bed every night, whispering that you had a bad dream, I pick you up and you settle in-between me and daddy. We rarely get much sleep after your nightly appearance, as you like to assume the letter H with your dad and I on either side while you lay primarily across us; however, I can’t just take you back to your room right away. I love knowing that you still need us to chase the monsters away. Your sister no longer comes in our room at night and soon, you won’t either. So, I’ll hold on as long as I can.

You still can’t stay still for pictures. I’m pretty sure there are at least a thousand little ants in your pants that wake up the second a camera is pointed your way.

You build the best lego towers and when I am at work, you make sure that dad knows to show me that you made them for me. You are a mommy’s boy through and through.

You love fiercely; especially your sister. How else would you endure her dressing you up to play house and her makeup skills?

You, sir, are a goofy boy. A goofy boy that has added an extra beat in my heart. Momma loves you to the moon and back.

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Happy birthday, sweet boy. 

Leg Hair

The kids made a spa in their bedroom and while my feet are soaking, Madelyn starts this conversation:

Madelyn: mom, you’re legs are sharp!

Me: sorry, Madelyn. I didn’t shave today. Don’t worry Madelyn, one day you’ll have sharp leg hair.

Madelyn: no I won’t! I’m just going to let it grow.

Me: one day you’ll want to have smooth legs.

Madelyn: to attract the boys?

Me: maybe.

Madelyn: so then when I find my boy, I can stop shaving and let the hair grow?

Me: {laughing} you’ve got the right idea, Madelyn.

Thirty- five

I have spent thirty-five years on this Earth.

As of tomorrow, I will be closer to forty than I am to thirty.

I’m ok with that.

I have learned more of who I am in my thirties.  I am continuing to learn something new everyday.

I am happier in my own skin.

I am a better person.

I am more content with my life than I was a few years ago.

I’ve heard that this happens in your thirties. This self-awareness or realization that you really knew nothing in your twenties and obviously, even less in your teens.

I’m looking forward to this second half of my thirties.

This year I {we} did so much. We worked on our house.

We visited museums.

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We hiked around Civil War battlefields.

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We had one of the best vacations in Disney World.

We watched movies together. We spent time with friends. We spent time with our families. Our little family.

I tried so may new thing this year.

But, we also lost 2 important people that have a large place in my heart. I miss them terribly.

They both have taught me things from their life that I will continue to incorporate into my life. Things that make my life fulfilled. A life filled with happiness and no regrets.

I am looking forward for what’s to come in this next year for me and my wonderful little family.